I'm a mess - so many mixed emotions, one of them being utter FEAR, I'm not gonna lie. Here are some factors/realizations that may make me barf before the end of the day:
No food or drink tomorrow - I don't think I am even allowed to eat, but if I am, it's hospital cafeteria food. Heard they serve up a mean placenta!
Enemas - I'm hoping we can skip this entirely. If they ask I will nicely decline. Not going there. No. No. No.
Catheters - mmm I get one in my spine and one in my bladder. Maybe they can insert more in my eyeballs while they're at it.
IV - I hate that they stab it into the top of your hand or wrist, and then it's in the way all day, shooting ice cold meds into your veins.
Magnesium sulfate - if my blood pressure rises during delivery, I get this is my bag. Supposedly causes nausea and audio/visual hallucinations.
Nausea - I hope and pray I am not one of those that throws up throughout labor. I can not handle puking on top of everything else going on. Just shoot me.
Stripping of membranes/breaking my water - just does not sound pleasant. I'm sure this will be one of the times where they say something like "okay just relax for a minute, you're going to feel a little poke."
The afterbirth - yikes. I don't want to see it, smell it, hear it, nothing. I'll just focus on my beautiful little baby's face.
The epidural - woo boy. I HATE needles, especially big ones in the spine that feel like electricution. And then sometimes it falls out and has to be reinserted, or sometimes it just doesn't take and you feel everything anyway. No wonder many women decide to go without, BUT -
Contractions - so I've heard them compared to anything from intense mentrual cramps to the worst Charlie Horse you've ever known to your abdomen losing in a fight against a great white shark. Guess I'll find out soon enough.
The Ring of FIRE - episiotomy vs. tear. I can't even think about this without breaking into a sweat. Just google 4th degree tears and recovery if you really want to know.
Failed induction ---> Cesarean Birth - so after all is said and done, my body could just stall and fail to progress. Off to the operating table and under the knife I go.
Mia's health - I've wondered what if the cord is around her neck? What if she inhales meconium into her lungs? What if? What if? What if? Bleh.
So anyway, as you can see, I'm just a little nervous. I keep reminding myself though that women have been doing this for a long time now. Everything is going to be fine. I just have to stay positive and focus on the end result. I can breathe through it. Cry through it. Laugh through it. This is going to be the best day of my life.
And man, Pete is so darn excited right now, it's very cute. So far this morning I have seen him break out into song and dance twice. He says tomorrow will be like the best Christmas ever. I say it will be like the best Christmas ever, except with a little side of torture before opening the most incredible gift of all.
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